Captain Jack or Chester the Molester: It’s Up to You.
What do you really want out of this? (Audience Participation) Look at the answers and use that to help with the focus.
This panel is simply a guide. You are entirely responsible for how you are perceived. The idea behind this is to guide you to be more like Captain Jack than Chester the Molester. It will also give you a bit of insight into the workings of the opposite gender.
This panel is not a ‘how to get some’ panel. (Say this to the audience): But that subject IS going to come up from time to time, so try not to giggle yourself into unconsciousness.
“She must want it. Look how she dressed.” - WRONG. When someone is in costume, they are expressing themselves in a way that they may not normally. This is not an invitation. What you think about a girl’s skimpy costume has nothing to do with what SHE thinks about her skimpy costume. You might think she wants everyone to see how sexy she looks…and that’s all she wants, period. She wants to be a center of attention, not someone for you to have sex with. If she wants sex, she will be very clear about her interest – until that happens, don’t be a Chester.
“It’s just a con.” So? When you act at the con, you will get a reputation. Con goers talk to each other, believe it or not. All it takes is one person to post his or her opinion of you on an A-Kon fansite and your reputation, good or bad, is made. And it’s going to be virtually impossible to change if you decide you don’t like it.
“She looks old enough.” This is usually followed with “She said she was 18”. Always check ID if the person seems to be under 200 years old. Besides, the small flattery of checking ID can work for you. Remember the old joke. “15 will get you 20. Years.”
“I deserve/you deserve…” NOT EVEN ON A BET. No one deserves anything. You will often earn things, from a raise or a kind word to any number of good things. No one, however, deserves anything – especially unwanted things. Anything worth having is worth working for. The ‘verse doesn’t hand out home runs; just curveballs and screwballs.
“I am not responsible.” I call Bullshit on this one every single time. You are always responsible for your actions and for the actions you take that lead you to the situation you are in. In fact, claiming responsibility to fix something someone else did wrong brings you one step closer to Captain Jack. Keep that in mind when someone makes a mess in the kitchen and you offer your help to clean it up…or even offer to take out the trash! (major brownie points there).
It takes a greater effort to do the right thing, than to follow your instincts. Are you Captain Jack?
Ever played a video game with Easy, Medium and Hard levels? Which level of difficulty gives you the best rewards? The real world often works the same way.
Yak, yak, yak – Talking to determine comfort levels
Clean body means a much more open reception - Guys smell, no exceptions. Take a shower. Every day. With soap. Other guys will notice, not to mention girls. This also means that she is far less likely to think you are a Chester when you come up to say hello.
Personal Space – give her some.
Don’t leer – Leering just makes you look like a stalker - And a moron. Even stalkers might get some play, but morons just get laughed at.
Don’t stalk – If you are relaxed and casual, she will be less fearful. Repeat: Don’t stalk. Large men will drag your ass outside and, quite literally, throw you out…if they don’t call the police and have you jailed for stalking. Yes, you can go to jail for stalking.
Be polite – A little bit of politeness can mean the world. Definitely be polite, just don’t overdo it.
This part will focus more on people's reactions, with a focus on reactions from the other gender. This is not a sex panel, so much as ways to observe her and not turn into a Chester.
Body language – if she is trying to escape, let her. You will be able to tell from her body language that she is trying to go away. And if you can't tell, make room so that she can anyway.
Don’t slouch, go everywhere with you hands in your pockets, glare for no reason, pretend to be bored with the world or otherwise act like life is too much trouble for you to deal with. This will give the impression that you are a Chester, from a distance.
Words – If she says ‘no’, assume it means NO!
Words can sometimes mean other things, but never make that assumption. If she says ‘no’ when she means ‘no’, you leave her alone. If you think she means ‘yes’ when she says ‘no’, she’s playing games with you and you’re going to lose. Big time. Guaranteed.
Even if she invites you to her room, it is not necessarily an invitation – maybe she really does have etchings to show you
A costume is not an invitation
Skin is not an invitation
You are supposed to notice costumes – but don’t drool on them
If you want a picture, ask
Don’t do anything to or with a girl without asking first. No exceptions.
As a man, you have more implied power than a woman may seem to have. This does not give you the right to be rude, or to make anyone uncomfortable. These are guidelines. By remembering some of these guidelines, you will find that you will have better interactions with women – and that is something that you all can enjoy. Being bigger than a woman doesn’t mean you’ll get away with molesting her. Ever seen King Kong? Take the hint.
Last part of Audience Q&A